


The Court Case

by lol-phan-af (lol_phan_af)



Series: 1-800-did-I-ask [29]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Multi, Texting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-15
Updated: 2016-07-15
Packaged: 2018-07-24 03:23:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7491468
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lol_phan_af/pseuds/lol-phan-af
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>little lion: I HAVE AN IDEA</p><p>laf: I am afraid</p><p>little lion: WHY</p><p>laf: THE LAST TIME YOU TEXTED ME IN AN INDIVIUAL CHAT SAYING THAT YOU HAD AN IDEA GWASH HAD TO BAIL US OUT OF JA IL</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Court Case

**Author's Note:**

> s/o to that tumblr anon again ily!!!

  
**little lion** : !!LAF!!

**laf** : this is legitimately the first time you have texted me in an individual chat in like five years

**little lion** : SHhhHHhHHhhhhHHhhHhH

**little lion** : I HAVE AN IDEA

**laf** : I am afraid

**little lion** : WHY

**laf** : THE LAST TIME YOU TEXTED ME IN AN INDIVIUAL CHAT SAYING THAT YOU HAD AN IDEA GWASH HAD TO BAIL US OUT OF JA IL

**little lion** : you accidentally set oNE TREE ON FIRE AND SUDDENLY YOURE A CRIMINAL

**laf** : UFCKIGN

**laf** : WHATS YOUR IDEA

**little lion** : YKNOW HOW WE WENT TO OLIVE GARDEN @ THE BUSINESS TRIP AND JOHN AND ALEX WERE LIKE :^((( BC WE WERE GOING ON DATES WITHOUT THEM

**laf** : yeS

**little lion** : !!!LETS GO ON A DATE!!!

**laf** : IM FOR IT

**little lion** : YAY

\---

**little lion** : HERCULES

**laf** : JOHN

**johnn** : HWTA

**more like HUNKules** : YOU RANG

**little lion** : DO YOU WANNA GO ON A DATE WITH US

**more like HUNKules** : WHAT'S THE OCCASION

**laf** : wE LOVE YOU????

**johnn** : IM GAME

**more like HUNKules** : SAME

**laf** : YAY

**little lion** : YAY

\---

**johnn** : when and where are we going for our date??

**little lion** : olive garden tomorrow after work?

**johnn** : !!!

**johnn** : BREADSTICKS

**little lion** : BRE A D S TI CKS

**laf** : !!!!!BREADSTICKS!!!!!

**more like HUNKules** : B R E A D S T I C K S

\---

**laf** : just walked into the living room

**laf** : alex and john are speaking spanish

**laf** : they're half asleep I don't think they realize they're doing it

**more like HUNKules** : you're not supposed to know that

**laf** : what

**more like HUNKules** : YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT THEY CAN SPEAK SPANISH

**laf** : W H Y

**more like HUNKules** : IDK THEY MADE ME SIGN AN OATH TO NOT TELL YOU

**laf** : WHAT THE FUCK

**laf** : HOW DO YOU KNOW

**more like HUNKules** : bc I was there at the oath signing

**laf** : NO HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT THEY CAN SPEAK SPANISH

**more like HUNKules** : OH

**more like HUNKules** : ONE TIME WHEN YOU WEREN'T HOME THEY WERE ARGUING ABOUT ANIMAL CRACKERS AND JOHN STARTED SPEAKING IT AND INSTEAD OF ALEX BEING CONFUSED HE JUST RESPONDED AND I JUST KIND OF WATCHED IT HAPPEN

**laf** : john just called alex alejandro I'm cryin this is cute

**more like HUNKules** : they're prolly gonna get mad that I broke the oath

**more like HUNKules** : fuck

**laf** : I'll defend you it's fine

**more like HUNKules** : :^)))

\---

**little lion** : FUCK YOU KNOW

**johnn** : FRICK

**laf** : WHY??? WOULD YOU HIDE IT???

**little lion** : IDK  
  
**laf** : I FEEL CHEATED ON

**johnn** : SURELY THERES STUFF YOU DONT TELL US

**laf** : N O

**little lion** : the tree

**laf** : THATS DIFFERENT THAT WAS THE LAW

**johnn** : WHAT

**more like HUNKules** : W HA T

**laf** : NOTHING NOTHITGHTNNGLKSHDG

**laf** : FORGET WHAT YOU READ

**laf** : FORGET IT ALL

**johnn** : NO WAIT I WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

**laf** : NO

**johnn** : ALEX

**little lion** : I would tell you but laf would actually murder me??

**laf** : I WOULD

**johnn** : WHAT THE FUCK

**more like HUNKules** : ???????????

\---

**angelica** : why are we here

**eliza** : ????????

**johnn** : COURT

**cinnamon roll** : whaT

**johnn** : ELIZA, ANGELICA, PEGGY, AND MARIA ARE ALL JURY

**marIa** : I don't deserve this

**johnn** : YOU ARE ALL PREAPPROVED

**johnn** : I AM THE JUDGE

**more like HUNKules** : YOU HAVE BIAS THATS NOT FAIR

**cinnamon roll** : wHOS BEING PROSECUTED

**johnn** : HERCULES

**cinnamon roll** : WHATS THE CASE

**johnn** : WE'LL GET TO THAT

**johnn** : LAFAYETTE YOU ARE A KEY WITNESS

**laf** : FIFTH AMENDMENT

**johnn** : you're not testifying against yourself

**laf** : oh

**laf** : continue then

**johnn** : ALEX IS THE PROSECUTION

**more like HUNKules** : I WANT A LAWYER

**johnn** : YOURE DEFENDING YOURSELF IN THIS CASE

**more like HUNKules** : FUCK

**johnn** : OKAY

**johnn** : THIS IS THE CASE AGAINST HERCULES MULLIGAN FOR BREAKING THE CONTRACT THAT HE SIGNED EXPLAINING THAT HE WOULD NEVER TELL ANYONE THAT HIS BOYFRIENDS ALEXANDER HAMILTON AND JOHN LAURENS CAN SPEAK SPANISH

**angelica** : you can speak spanish?

**johnn** : OUT OF ORDER

**angelica** : boy

**johnn** : THIS IS COURT YOU CANT JSUSUSUT

**johnn** : MR. MULLIGAN YOUR OPENING STATEMENT

**more like HUNKules** : A PROMISE MUST NEVER BE BROKEN

**more like HUNKules** : AND IN THIS CASE IT WASNT

**little lion** : OBJECTION

**more like HUNKules** : ON WHAT GROUNDS

**little lion** : THE GROUNDS THAT YOU;RE QUOTING ME ON

**johnn** : OVERRULED

**little lion** : EXCUSE ME

**johnn** : MR. MULLIGAN CONTINUE

**more like HUNKules** : THIS IS A CASE OF COINCIDENCE AND KNOWLEDGE

**more like HUNKules** : SHOULD THAT BE PUNISHED??

**more like HUNKules** : ILL LET THE JURY DECIDE

**johnn** : that was beautiful

**little lion** : BIAS

**johnn** : MR. HAMILTON YOUR OPENING STATEMENT

**little lion** : WE HAD AN OATH THAT WE TRUSTED MR. MULLIGAN TO UPHOLD

**little lion** : ONLY TO HAVE OUR TRUST BE BROKEN A YEAR AND A HALF LATER

**laf** : YOU KEPT THIS FROM ME FOR A YEAR AND A HALF

**johnn** : OUT OF ORDER

**little lion:** THIS IS NOT ONLY A CASE OF BROKEN TRUST

**little lion** : BUT ALSO ONE OF B E T R A Y A L

**johnn** : nice

**more like HUNKules** : BIAS

**johnn** : idk how else court is supposed to be run

**johnn** : HERCULES YOU CAN GO FIRST

**more like HUNKules** : OKAY SO LIKE

**little lion** : PERFECT WAY TO START THAT BRAVO

**more like HUNKules** : HUSH

**more like HUNKules** : I NEVER BROKE THE OATH

**little lion** : SCOFFS

**more like HUNKules** : THE OATH SPECIFICALLY STATES THAT I, HERCULES MULLIGAN, AM STRICTLY FORBIDDEN FROM PROVIDING MARIE-JOSEPH PAUL YVES ROCH GILBERT DU MOTIER MARQUIS DE LAFAYETTE WITH THE INFORMATION THAT ALEXANDER HAMILTON AND JOHN LAURENS CAN SPEAK SPANISH. THIS INCLUDES TELLING LAFAYETTE THAT ONE OF THEM CAN SPEAK SPANISH.

**little lion** : YOU FORGOT THE PART THAT SAYS VIOLATION OF THIS LAW IS PUNISHABLE BY DEATH

**more like HUNKules** : you're not going to kill me

**little lion** : WHY NOT

**more like HUNKules** : you can't fuckign reach me

**cinnamon roll** : OH SHIT

**little lion** : I CAN SO

**little lion** : PLUS I HAVE A FOUNTAIN PEN AND A HAND AND YOU HAVE A CHEST CAVITY

**little lion** : THATS ALL I NEED

**johnn** : VIOLENTLY POUNDS GAVEL

**johnn** : NO

**more like HUNKules** : JUDGE I AM AFRAID

**johnn** : HE HAD TO ASK YOU TO CARRY A GARBAGE BAG FILLED WITH PAPER ONCE LIKE???

**little lion** : IT WAS HEAVY

**johnn** : NO??

**eliza** : are y'all gonna finish this up soon

**little lion** : OKAY SO BASICALLY MY DEFENSE WAS HE TOLD LAF ABT IT LIKE IS THERE ANOTHER REASON

**more like HUNKules** : BUT I DIDNT T E LL THEM THEY FOUND OUT ON THEIR OWN

**little lion** : yeah true

**little lion** : I kind of want to side with herc now

**johnn** : same

**little lion** : I love him so much????

**johnn** : S A M E

**cinnamon roll** : AWWW

**marIa** : you guyS ARE E M B A R R A S S I N G

**eliza** : so are we it's fine

**marIa** : TRUE

**little lion** : IM SO EXCITED FOR OUR DATE TONIGHT IM GOING TO KISS YOU FOREVER A H

**more like HUNKules** : oh god

**cinnamon roll** : rip Hercules

**angelica** : rip

**eliza** : rip

**marIa** : rip

**more like HUNKules** : thanks

\---

**little lion** : WHERE ARE YOU TWO

**laf** : back in our own chat I see

**little lion** : yes

**johnn** : we're gonna be late

**little lion** : HWY

**johnn** : hercules had v nice clothes on and he looked so GOOD

**johnn** : he's no longer wearing clothes

**johnn** : neither am I

**laf** : in the name of the father and of the son and of the holy spirit

**laf** : amen

**little lion** : amen

**johnn** : your prayers wont get us to olive garden any quicker

**more like HUNKules** : I can tho

**johnn** : oH mY G OD

**johnn** : GOTTA GO

\---

**little lion** : FINALLY

**little lion** : TWENTY MINUTES LATE

**laf** : that's kind of sad it takes 10 minutes to get here

**little lion** : INSULTING HERCULES LIKE THIS HOW DARE

**johnn** : we didn't ~~start~~ when I said we did

**johnn** : hercules wanted to leave twenty minutes before you texted us

**laf** : oh damn

**little lion** : HA

\---

**little lion** : so you know how laf wore a garter belt here in college

**johnn** : yes and how I'm still bitter that they went to a party on the day of my birthday dinner

**laf** : I got wHIPPED IN THE FACE BY MY OWN HOOP SKIRT THAT DAY I'VE DONE MY TIME

**more like HUNKules** : WHY ARE YOU TEXTING WE ARE AT DINNER

**little lion** : I WAS TRYING TO DO SOMETHING BUT THE MOMENT IS L O S T

**laf** : WHAT WERE YOU TRYING TO  DO

**little lion** : NO

**laf** : WE'RE LISTENING

**little lion** : NO

**johnn** : ARE YOU WEARING A GARTER BELT RN

**little lion** : ,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

**johnn** : FRICK

**laf** : WELL I HAVE EATEN ENOUGH SOUP TO FEED MYSELF FOR FIVE DAYS LETS GO HOME

**johnn** : LETS GO

**more like HUNKules** : IM GAME

**little lion** : WE GOTTA PAY FIRST

**johnn** : FCKU

\---

**johnn** : so about the tree thing

**laf** : NO

**little lion** : NO

**johnn** : DAMMIT

**Author's Note:**

> !!!OKAY SO!!!
> 
> I've been workin for the past three days to write seven texting things so for the next week I'm going to be posting them every day while I'm at the beach so !!!!! I'm so !!!!!


End file.
